How To Turn FEAR Into Success!
Fear. The emotion that causes us not to do things in life. The emotion that holds us back from having the things we want, doing the things we want and more importantly being the person we want to be.
Fear has kept us alive and evolving since the dawn of man, by being afraid of the wilderness, the beasts that roam the lands and unexpected dangers, but now that we live in the 21st century, there are very few things that we genuinely need to be afraid of. Yes, we need to be afraid of an incoming car on the road or our children who are about to fall off a high ledge, but most of the things we think we fear today, are not actually dangerous. What most people genuinely think they are afraid of now, is their emotions. We’re fearful of embarrassment, of judgement, of being vulnerable, fearful that someone wont like us or might look us differently. These are things that we truly do not need to be afraid of, to save our lives. The fear, the feeling of fear we get from not wanting to feel these emotions, prevents us from taking action.
Now I want you to really think about this. Fear is an unpleasant emotion caused by a belief that something is dangerous, likely to cause pain or a threat. So, if fear is just an unpleasant emotion that is caused by what you believe, we can easily shift that.
What has happened over time, is that we’ve come to avoid emotions that cause us pain or discomfort, because our subconscious associates pain with danger, when really, these emotions are not dangerous at all. Since most of us are not ever in actual, dangerous situations, fear doesn’t serve us, unless of course the threat of danger is real.
Most of us don’t have a real use for fear in our lives, however, it seems to pop up, on more occasions than we’d actually like it to and when that feeling of fear brews up inside us, it can be very detrimental and can prevent us from doing what makes our lives fulfilling.
Next time you feel that fear come on, ask yourself, “Is this fear actually protecting me from danger and do I need it right now?” Often, you’ll realise that there’s nothing to be afraid of. The worst thing that can happen, is just an emotion. Feeling emotion won’t kill you, it may make you feel uncomfortable, but discomfort doesn’t put you in any danger or threat.
I talk about this in many of my training's and that’s the fact that most people are afraid of an unpleasant emotion. So many people I coach think they should never feel discomfort or negative emotion. Whenever those unpleasant emotions come up, they quickly look for something that will make them comfortable. This is how things like self-sabotage and emotional eating start.
So how to we get rid of fear you ask? Well we don’t. Fear is not real, so there’s really nothing to get rid of. What we do need to learn and develop is courage. Courage doesn’t exist without fear and we can’t learn to be courageous if we don’t expose ourselves to those scary emotions.
Think about the gym. Why do people go the gym? To push their limits, to work hard, to sweat, to burn, to really, put themselves through discomfort, to come out stronger on the other side. It’s the same principle as fear and courage. If you want to develop courage, you must expose yourself to scary things. When we set big goals, our brain thinks everything is scary. Emotions are scary. Therefore, the only way to grow, to reach goals, to build momentum, to live life, to do all the things you’ve ever wanted to do, is to have the willingness and courage to allow ourselves to be afraid.
These emotions that we’ve always considered scary or uncomfortable are a part of being human. If you never put yourself in situations that make you scared or uncomfortable, I can guarantee that you’re not growing. You’re not becoming more. You’re not allowing yourself to even take a step closer to who you want to be. The goal here is to embrace the fear. We must realise that it’s always going to be there and allowing it to be there in our lives and move forward anyway.
When we move forward in our lives, when we take on new goals and aim to do things, we’ve never done before, it will always be scary, because the unknown is scary. We only experience fear when we step into the unknown. You can’t grow and evolve and become more if you continue to do things you already know.
Fear is beautiful! Fear tells us we’re on the right path. Fear shows us that we are stepping up and challenging ourselves to new ventures. Feeling fear and taking action anyway, makes us stronger. If you’re not moving forward in life and challenging yourself to grow and be better and do more, than what is life?
It's up to you to take advantage of both fear and courage and understand that you can use both sides of the equation to your advantage. Have compassion and gratitude for fear and courage. When you can learn to acknowledge that all emotion is part of the human package of life, you begin to not avoid it so much. The feeling of fear gives you understanding that you’re moving forward into the unknown. The feeling of courage gives you the green light to tackle it head on.
We need to know, that feeling negative emotion can be painful at times, but it doesn’t mean you have to suffer in it. When you struggle to fight away the pain and push against it, suppressing it, you start suffering and beating yourself up and it pushes you down. When you allow the emotional wave to just roll over you and you acknowledge it and know that it’s just short term discomfort and you don’t need to be afraid of it, you can see it, feel it and keep moving forward. That’s when you truly step into the power of becoming the person you’ve always wanted to be.
To practice being accepting of fear, think about these questions. If you weren’t afraid, what you be able to achieve? What actions would you be taking to achieve those things? How would life be different for you if you weren’t scared of feeling negative emotions?
Fear shouldn’t be putting walls up for you. Fear guides you in the right direction. It’s your compass. Listen to it. Watch where it takes you. Allow it to shine a light on what actions you could be taking next.